Losing Bella
by OveractiveMuse
Summary: Edward must say goodbye to his reason for existence forever. Canon through the beginning of New Moon. I suggest having tissues handy!


**I was having a major case of creative block when finally this broke through. I had the plot line in five minutes and it was on the page in less than an hour. Let me know what you think :)**

**Review please!!**

**Warning- you might need tissues… no happily ever after here…**

He was staring at the piano again when it happened. He had not touched it in over ten years. The last thing he ever played was hers, for the CD that was now in the floorboards of her bedroom at Charlie's house. Of course, she had no idea that it was still there. She thought he had left because he did not love her, when it was the opposite. She was twenty-eight now. Teaching at the high school in Forks, living with her father again. He kept constant track of her, even though he had not seen her since that day. From the pictures he had seen, her expression was blank and glazed, like she was biding her time. He knew that she had not been in any kind of a relationship and thanks to Alice; he knew that she never got over him. She never really tried. She had dated a couple of guys in college for brief periods, but she had never even kissed them, until they lost interest. She had watched as her friends married, as she shed tears of pain, her heart aching for him. At Angela and Ben's wedding, she had brokenly whispered his name as the tears silently flowed. Alice had seen it all and so had he through her mind. Carlisle and Emmett had to hold him physically until he promised not to get on a plane. He could not bear to see her in so much pain. So many times, he had snuck off to buy plane tickets to go back to Forks. His family kept him from going, knowing that he truly wanted to give her a safe and normal life. However, his heart was weak and could hardly handle being apart from her. Especially once he had taken care of Victoria. There was nothing left to distract him from the pain. His heart ached for her, she was everything to him. All he wanted was to hold her one last time.

Now there was no time for a plane ticket, he would never make it in time. She was going to die anyway. Alice had seen it while he stared at his piano and it was coming in minutes. There was nothing the doctors could do. There was no vampire within range to call who would be willing to turn her. He wished now, after all his fighting to keep her alive, that he could have eternity with her. He would be selfish now if the choice was possible. There was no one. Alistair was in Canada but even as close as he was, there was no way he could reach her in time. He wished now that he had done so many things but there was no changing it now. There was nothing he could do except make a final video call and talk to her one last time.

He turned to Alice, and she immediately saw his plan. After a moment, she figured out what he should say. How it would work so that she would hear him and not refuse to talk to him before he would lose her forever.

He started up the system and pushed in the number he had permanently etched in his brain. He had called it as often as he dared so that he could hear her voice. However, this was the first and only video call he would ever make to her.

After a moment, he saw her profile on the screen as she woodenly said, "Hello, what can I do for you?"

He took a deep breath in, willing himself to hold it together through this call and then gently said, "Hello my love."

She spun quickly, her eyes wild, searching and then huge when she realized that she was not hallucinating. Tears began to stream down her face as she silently looked at him in shock.

Finally, she said, "Edward?" He looked at her, feeling venom overflow his eyelids and pour down his face.

Then he brokenly said, "Love, we don't have much time. Please listen."

She nodded her head dumbfoundedly. He knew she was still in shock and he was going to use it to his advantage.

His voice overflowing with emotion he said, "Love, I want you to go upstairs and carry the video screen with you."

She numbly grabbed the paper-thin computer pad and made her way up the stairs carefully.

The moment she crossed the threshold, he said, "Bella, look under the rocking chair. Do you see the floorboard that is slightly raised?"

She lifted the screen to face her and choked out, "Yes."

Edward memorized every bit of her face in that moment and then said, "Love, I want you to pull it up, it should be loose still."

She nodded into the screen and then walked over to the chair, leaned the video screen where he could see what was going on, knelt down on the floor, reached out, grabbed the floorboard and pulled it out of the way. She looked down into the open space underneath and saw the CD he had made for her on the top along with everything else he had placed there.

The tears streaming down her face grew fast and thick and she softly whispered, "You lied."

After a moment, she turned to face the screen again with a heartbroken expression on her face. He knew she wanted answers but the minutes were passing too quickly and he did not have enough time but knew she needed something.

Then the words came pouring from his mouth, "Bella, I lied. That day in the forest. I left because I loved you. I wanted you have a happy, normal, safe, human life. I knew it would not happen with me around and so I did the hardest I have ever done. I left my life behind, I left you and now there is no time."

She looked at the screen for a moment and said, "You never stopped loving me?"

He looked at her and said, "Love, you are my life. I have loved you since the moment you walked into my world and consumed it. I will love you for the rest of my existence."

She cried into the screen, her tears slightly blurring the image for a moment. He wished he could give her a few moments, but he knew that it was not possible. He only had a few minutes left. He said her name and she looked at him through her tears.

He said, "Love, I want you to put the CD in your CD player. You have no idea how thankful I am that you still have that archaic technology. I want you to put your lullaby on repeat and sit on your bed."

She wordlessly followed his directions.

Finally, she said, "Edward, I never stopped loving you. I tried to move on. I tried to live for everyone else but I was just passing time, praying that somehow I would see you again."

A horrified expression suddenly passed over her face and she choked out, "There is a reason you are calling and not telling me in person isn't there? What's wrong Edward?"

He sobbed as they looked at each other and then said, "Love, Alice had a vision a little bit ago, moments before your call. You-"

He broke down for a moment before he finally said, "Love, a blood clot in your brain is going to rupture in three minutes and you will slip into a coma two minutes later. Charlie will find you up here in about an hour and you'll be gone love."

She let out a couple of sobs before she forced her body back into submission for a moment or two more.

After another moment she said, "Will it hurt?"

Suddenly behind him, she saw the rest of the family as Carlisle said, "No sweetheart. It will feel weird but it won't hurt."

Quickly Alice said, "I will miss you forever Bella. "

Esme cried and forced out, "I have always considered you one of my daughters. I'll love you always."

Then Bella's eyes shifted slightly to Jasper as she said, "Jasper, don't blame yourself. I never have."

He nodded, unable to speak, looking at her for a moment before hugging Alice and moving out of the image. Then the rest of the family moved away leaving only his face staring back at her. He knew he only had a few seconds before it would begin.

He brokenly said, "I love you Bella. If you are right about my soul, I will see you soon. I will not live in a world where you are not."

He saw her eyes widen as the clot burst and her brain began to bleed.

She wearily said, "It doesn't hurt. I just feel sleepy. So sleepy. I can't fight it. I- I love you Edward. I'll be waiting."

She looked down at his image and he looked at hers for a moment before her eyes closed. Her body slumped over slightly, making her now peaceful face, still tear stained, fill the screen. He started telling her over and over again that he loved her. He knew that she would still be able to hear him for a minute before she was in a true coma. Finally, when her breathing stopped, he stopped talking and looked at her face. He focused on the sound of her heartbeat, as it grew more sluggish until he heard its last stuttering beat. Then all was still. He stopped breathing and just stared at her face. For once, no one else's thoughts were invading his.

Far too soon, Charlie entered the room, talking frantically to Alice over the phone. At the sight of his daughter's now still shell, he dropped the phone to the floor and ran to the bed. He felt for a pulse and pulled back quickly when he felt nothing on her cooling body. He gently laid her body down flat on the bed, taking her face away from his range of sight. Charlie looked down into the screen, gently removing it from her lap. He looked into Edward's face. Edward saw the tears streaming down her father's face. Charlie saw the tears of the boy who had loved his daughter as he looked back at him.

Charlie merely said, "I'll see you soon."

He nodded back and Esme gently took the screen from him and ended the call. He collapsed onto the floor, curling up in a ball, letting the misery have him.

The next day he steeled himself as he walked through the doors of the Forks Hospital. He headed straight for the morgue where Charlie was waiting. He walked into the room with purpose and remained composed until they gave him a moment alone with her body. He knew it was just a shell but he gently gathered her cold, stiff body into his arms, pressing a kiss to her rigid lips. For some reason, even in death she still smelled sweet to him. After a few minutes, someone knocked on the door and he gently eased her down again. Carlisle wrapped his arms around his crying son and helped him walk from the room.

The funeral happened the next day. It was simple. Two memorial services were planned for a later date, one in Phoenix and one in Forks. Edward looked across the casket at Bella's grieving parents through the funeral. As the brief graveside service concluded, her parents placed two different colors of roses on her coffin. Then Edward stepped forward, and placed a bouquet of deep crimson roses over theirs. He stood there, frozen after almost everyone else had left; only turning away when the coffin was completely covered in a layer of soil. Without a word, he turned and walked away. His family believed that he was going for a walk, except for Alice, who understood. The moment he hit the trees, he ran for Seattle. When he arrived, he boarded a plane bound for Italy. He did not plan to keep her waiting long.

**Not my usual style… I do like to torture my characters but the ending is usually happy.. let me know what you think… I love reviews and respond to all signed ones!! Review please!**


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